We come into the world knowing nothing of the experience of being alive. We are amazed by such simple things. Every flower is an explosion of color that implores us to explore the world around us, with our wild eyes and all of our other senses on fire. As children we find so much joy in new discovery. Every moment so fresh and alive with the brilliant potential of new experience. The more we can touch, the more we can taste, the more we can see, the more we can hear, the better. We have almost an endless hunger for these experiences of what it means to be alive, and for many of us, this is the perfect state of being. Living in flow with the world around us unfettered by anything in our endless wonder of these new sensory experiences.
Along the way, we encounter things that are less comfortable. We have experiences that hurt us, confuse us, and wake us up to the other side of experience. That sometimes these new experiences can be very bad for us, and we come to know fear. Once we experience fear it can be hard to go back to that wonder, that innocence. However, wouldn’t it be great if we could?
I know this can be hard to believe, but it definitely can. The biggest obstacle to getting back into that more childlike state of being is addressing, after long last, our relationship with our fear. Fear has many manifestations but only one primary purpose: to let us know that something we are experiencing has the potential to cause us harm. Depending on the resources we feel that we have available to us (emotional as well as physical), getting beyond our fear can seem like a daunting task, but it is one we must undertake.
In Reiki, when we discuss the 5 Reiki Principles, fear is one of the things that we address. What we tend to say about fear is that “it is meant to be a guardian, not our master”. So many of us confuse this relationship, and we tend to let it rule us and keep us away from all of the things we want in our lives. Fear loves power, so when we succumb to it and we react to it by limiting our experience to avoid it, it presents us with even more fear. Our world becomes smaller and smaller as we limit our experience, and eventually, there is nowhere left to be except alone being stared down by the oppressive nature of our fear.
So many of us have made this mistake; we hold that our fear is the sole ruler because we will do anything to prevent ourselves from incurring more harm. Where if we were to view it as an ally, we could see what it really wants from us: and that’s merely to advise, to suggest, to say, “hey buddy, I’m not so sure that’s the best idea.” Though it can speak to us so loudly, and we have years of succumbing to it under our belts, it can be hard to seek the gentleness in its message. What can we do to correct how we react to our fear? We must readjust our relationship with it, just like we would with any other relationship in our lives that has become more of an obstacle than a stepping stone.
We must learn to hear what is present in our fear. What is the subject we are facing? Can we stop ourselves and question: “What is the real harm in doing this? Is it really going to hurt us that badly?” Just like with anger, which is also an act of ego gone wild, if we can give ourselves a brief pause we can see how relevant this fear actually is in the moment. We can examine it, and ask it necessary questions so we can justify why it is standing in our way.
Sometimes, our fear is merely excitement dressed in uncertainty. Especially as we get older and we have so many events in our lives to draw on, our excitement can easily get confused with fear. They do have a similar intensity and can give us many of the same physiological symptoms, but one we encounter when there is true harm that can come our way, the other comes to us when we are undertaking a new adventure. This again, is where a brief pause and questioning what it is we are actually feeling in this moment can help us to resolve that this is not fear, and we are merely ecstatic with our new experience.
So what then is the real gift inherent in our fear? I feel that it is something that reminds us that we are alive, and that is indeed important to us. At times it can be like an overbearing parent who insists that everything you do will result in some catastrophic event. Just playing the role of the aberrant teenager and saying, “whatever mom, I’m going to do this anyway” can help you to reclaim your power back from your fear. The less power your fear retains and the more you treat it in its appropriate role in your life, the more you and your fear will become friends. Once you correct this relationship it will become a powerful ally helping you to adjust your trajectory in your life rather than throwing on the brakes all together.
So stop yourself next time, see the gift in your fear, hear it’s message and allow it to help you to make well informed decisions instead of it coming in between you and the things you want in your life. Address it to see if the potential causes of harm are actually valid or if they are artifacts of times you felt shamed or humiliated in your past. Reacquaint yourself with your flow state, try to take back that child-like wonder and live your life more fully, richly and ultimately more satisfied.
Nightwing Healing Arts 