We live in a culture that is divided among many lines as we strive for individuality. We progress further into identifying ourselves with new labels and titles creating more and more lines separating us from people in our lives. As we create more boundaries the space between us grows until we cannot identify with those in our lives any longer. As we grow more into the pride of how we have identified ourselves we see those who do not align themselves with the same titles as though they are separate form us. We create an “us verses them” mentality.
These lines we create can fall between us and family members we once held dear, or friends we were once close with. When these people speak up about the values that they have chosen to align themselves by, we quickly go to war with them if those views oppose our own. These actions deepen these lines between us, and they quickly transform from boundaries to impassible trenches that get progressively harder to cross. Communication gets sour and we assume more than we are hearing in these interactions, making it more difficult to relate and connect with one another.
None of these things are to say that having differences is bad, or that we should all agree to the same ideas and values, but through the values of compassion and heart centered living we come to understand that it is more important to connect than to divide. When we isolate ourselves emotionally from everyone our hearts grow weaker, sadness sets in and can grow into much lower emotional states. So what can we do to avoid alienation, and intense feelings of separation from the people in our lives?
We hear the word compassion all the time. For some it carries a negative connotation. As though having compassion for someone is likened to having pity on someone. This is something that so few of us desire to feel from our friends and loved ones.
Compassion encompasses so many things. One of the largest components is love. To have love for others that is unconditional, and comes from a place that seeks to understand rather than seeking reward. When we can engage with somebody from a place of love, it’s easier to use our understanding to bridge some of these gaps that we have created by digging ourselves into these value systems. This “us versus them” mentality can start to dissolve, and we can see that it’s more important to understand one another than to fight each other over our values.
When I speak of love being “unconditional”, what does that mean? It seems as though we hear this term a lot, but how many of us have really thought to sit down and consider it? Very often we tend to tell people that the love we hold for them is unconditional, but there are often riders and regulations governing how much of that love we are willing to give. This is not true unconditional love. Unconditional love means that the love we are giving will be given freely, and will not be restricted when someone does something that we do not like. For many of us this level of love and compassion is impossible to conceive of. The idea that we can continue to love someone after they have “wronged” or “hurt” us just seems like we are letting people take from us, or do us some sort of harm.
I believe this line of thinking comes from the idea that we see love like it is a bank account. As though we only have so much love to give, and once we have spent that account down, there will be no more for those who we feel deserve it. I can assure you, that nothing could be further from the truth.
Love is something that grows more as we use it. It grows more as we exchange it with one another. Once we realize that we can give it freely, and that it’s not necessary to attach any stipulations to that act of giving love, then we will see how it can grow, and ultimately how expansive it can be. There are no limits to love aside from those that we attach to it.
Compassion is something that we can all benefit from, both as providers and receivers. It begs that we try to hear and understand each other more deeply. That we listen without preconceived ideas about what others are trying to say, without prejudice, and without projection of our own fears. Compassion asks that we give without expecting payment or reward for our actions. Anything done as an act of compassion is simply for the act of giving and to no other purpose. Compassion is something that costs nothing to give. So if this is true, then why are we so afraid that we won’t get anything back for such acts?
One of the greatest lessons in Heart Centered Living is that we all crave connection, and that every single person we meet is deserving of that connection just by the virtue that they are here with us, and they are alive. So if we are to live from a place of active compassion and heart centeredness, we have to let go of the idea that there is an “us” or “them”, but rather we are all part of one another. In understanding this it becomes easier to treat those who we encounter in our lives the way in which we would prefer to be treated. To be the person who we need the most in our own lives to others. To give others the love that we ourselves are crying out for every day.
We were all put here in this place to learn, live and grow together. Each person we encounter on our path is put there to help us through that journey, just as we are put in the paths of others to help them to meet these marks for themselves.
If we can come away from “us verses them” mentalities, and learn to embrace each other as a part of ourselves and love them as such we can eliminate divisive techniques that pit us against one another, and help us to be stronger and more resilient as a people. We could be unstoppable.
Artwork by: Christopher Foulkes c-knox@live.com
Nightwing Healing Arts 